The Cabin
by greengirl82
Summary: While seeking shelter to await out a storm, Hotch and Emily talk about the lack of the failure of romance...


**The Cabin**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, but you knew that already.

Summary: While searching the woods for an unsub, Hotch and Emily get caught up in a storm and are separated from the team. Seeking shelter in a cabin, the two talk which results in both talking about their lack of romance and hilarity ensues.

A/N: A brief oneshot, so leave a review and tell me what you think...

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><p>"The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for." Homer<p>

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><p>"Hurry up, Hotch" Emily said, shaking from the gust of wind that hit her face, as rain poured down the two profilers,"I'm freezing."<p>

"I'm going as fast as I can" Hotch answered, rapping on the door "I don't think any one's here. This place might be abandoned."

"Then get us in" Emily said shivering "Before we die of pneumonia."

Hotch picked the lock on the cabin popping it, and said, "Satisfied?"

Emily hurriedly moved past him to go inside, muttering, "Hardly."

Watching as she remove her leather jacket and the suite jacket underneath, Hotch went over to the fire place to start a fire to warm them up in the cold small cabin.

"Why don't you see if there's any lights or lanterns or something?" Hotch asked Emily starting the fire.

Emily groaned in protest as she got up from the dark blue couch and wandered through the one floor cabin flicking on lights.

Hotch removed his heavy coat, and threw it over the back of a recliner jumping when he heard Emily shriek.

"What?" Hotch called out seeing her return as the lights flickered on.

"Food!" Emily said "Fresh looking food, water and big bottle of vodka."

Emily held up the bag of chips, bread and bottled water.

"Way to give a heart attack, Prentiss" Hotch commented "Eat if you're hungry."

"Aren't you hungry?" Emily asked handing him a bottled water.

"My concern is more focused on the team and if they're tracking the unsub then my hunger." Hotch told her.

"And the robot rears it's ugly head again" Emily muttered as she brought out a small tray of sandwiches, the chips and the vodka "Eat. Even unsubs stop to take a snack break."

Hotch rolled his eyes and took a sandwich, biting into it, he shrugged and said, "Not bad."

"You know I do know how to not burn food" Emily said sarcasm evident in her tone "So what do you want to do to pass the time?"

"Beg your pardon?" Hotch asked sipping his water.

"Well we can't go back out in the storm, not with us still soaked to the bone," Emily said "So we'll have to wait until the storm passes. Hey? Have you even checked your phone?"

Both realizing that, they pull out their cell phone.

"Dead" Emily said frustrated, "Ugh, pay good money for this phone and he needs to be charged every few hours. You suck."

Hotch looked up, eyebrow raised at that, to see her talking to the phone, "No signal."

"Perfect" Emily grumbled picking at a potato chip.

"The team knew what direction we were heading in, Prentiss" Hotch said "As soon as the storm passes, they'll come looking for us."

Emily sighed and said, "Fine. Then entertain me."

"What?" Hotch asked "How?"

"Talk" Emily said "Tell me how things are going in your personal life."

"I hardly think that this is the time to have one of those discussions" he sighed "There's an unsub still out there, we're trapped in a abandoned cabin and..."

"God, can't you ever relax?" she groaned in frustration, "And why do you still have your suit jacket on? What is it stapled to you? Just sit back and relax for awhile, will you?"

"There" he sighed, removing the suit jacket, "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic" Emily said, "Now, tell me. How's life treating you lately?"

Wanting to get the discussion off of him, Hotch decided to turn the table, "How's life been treating you since your return?"

Hotch wanted to kick himself, when he saw the small fall off her face, "I'm good."

"Ok, how about an honest answer" he asked gentler "You answer me honestly one question, and I'll answer you with an honest question. Deal?"

"Deal" she nodded "Ok, fire away."

"Are you really ok? With the transitioning back into the BAU?" Hotch asked, remembering her tense moments and the feeling after her psych evals that she might want to bolt.

He couldn't have that, she belonged on his team.

"Not so good" Emily said, "There's still some tension that's still out there, but it's just going to take time. I mean remember how long it took for them to accept the fact that you and JJ knew I was alive? Time and space, I'll just have to get use to it."

Hotch must of had a worried look or doubt because Emily fell back into type.

"Now, it's my turn" Emily said with a smirk that fell on her face as she tapped her chin, "Now let's see... What do I want to ask you. Ah, I know. When was the last time you've gone on a date?"

Hotch's eyes widened and said, "Well when was the last time you went on a date?"

"Uh uh" Emily said shaking her head, "This isn't about me. This is your turn. Remember?"

"Wow, that long?" Hotch joked watching her shoot a warning look.

"Well, it may have been that long, dating wise but at least I don't have my left and right hand keeping me company" Emily told Hotch.

Hotch's jaw dropped in shock, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, no need to be embarrassed" she waved off the dismissal "Masturbation is a healthy thing. Just sad because that's your only source of entertainment. I mean seriously when's the last time you had sex with a woman?"

Hotch rubbed his hand over his face, mumbling.

"Excuse me?" Emily said leaning in "What was that?"

"Not since Haley" Hotch said grinding out the words.

"Ah" Emily said "So quite awhile, huh? And before then? Probably another decade ago, huh? Well don't worry, not much has changed in that time. Although probably back then women faked it then too."

"What?" Hotch asked disturbed with where the questions were going.

"Fake it?" Emily repeated "You do know that women faked orgasms right? Oh don't tell me you've never noticed? I'm sure at one point or another Haley even faked it."

Hotch's male ego hit at that, "No, I would certainly would of noticed if my own wife had faked it."

Emily pulled off the vodka lid taking a swig, passing it to Hotch who gulped down on the alcoholic beverage.

"You that sure about your prowess?" Emily said raising an eyebrow to Hotch.

"Want a demonstration?" Hotch teased watching her choke back on the vodka.

"What?" Emily gasped in shock, coughing "No!"

"Gee, way to kill a guys ego" Hotch teased "And I'd know if Haley or anyone else faked it because I'm just that good."

"Really?" Emily said "How would you know? Oh, I forgot you're a man, and men don't like knowing that at one time or another that a woman had to faked it."

"How the hell did we even get in this topic of conversation?" Hotch asked taking the vodka bottle from Emily.

"You ever seen When Harry Met Sally?" Emily asked Hotch surprising him.

"Once, I think" he answered, "About a million years ago, why?"

"Then you should recognize this" Emily said dropping her sandwich on the tray, and groaning.

"You ok?" Hotch asked "You're stomach hurt?"

"Ooh, oh" Emily said facing contorting, "Ooh."

Hotch placed the vodka bottle down watching her, wondering what was going on.

"Oh, uh" Emily said running her fingers through her dark hair, "Uh! Oh!"

Hotch's jaw dropped as she started moaning loudly, "Oh God. Ooh, oh. Oh, oh God."

Emily closed her eyes, as she ran her hand down her face, while panting a moaned, "Ooh, God. Oh."

"Right there, oh God. Yes!" Emily said loudly, "Yes, yes. Right there. Oh my God. Ooh, ooh."

Hotch quietly cleared his throat, trying to control his rapidly beating heart while she continued her cries of faked pleasure.

"Yes, yes, yes. Oh God. Yes." Emily finished, opening her eyes smirking at the stunned man.

"Remind you of anyone?" Emily said taking the vodka bottle, downing the remaining contents "Oh, look the rain is letting up. Almost time."

A knock pulled the two out of their seemingly silent reverie.

Too stun to move, Hotch watched Emily get up and open the cabin door to the soaking wet faces of her team.

"There you are." Dave said smirking as th team outside heard her voice "Having fun?"

"Excuse me?" Hotch's voice said lightly.

"Did you have fun?" Morgan said smirking at the two "A good time?"

"An interesting time." Hotch said seeing Emily get up walking out of the cabin, throwing him a smirk.

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><p>"Love is blind, Friendship closes its eyes." Author Unknown<p>

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><p><strong>The End<strong>

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